Things I’ve Fallen In Love With Lately

It’s been a while since I’ve been writing here at Sweet Jesilu, but the always-inspiring Lindsey Mead at A Design So Vast motivated me with her recent blog post: what have you fallen in love with lately?

 

Unplugging from social media.

I can’t deactivate from it entirely, because hello world we’re living in. But I am turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to ranting and screaming and conspiracy theories about Obama and trolls and passive-aggressive comments and questionable news articles and absolutely everything Kardashian, as well as plenty of other things that no longer serve me. It’s a little weird to unplug at first, but once you step out of the virtual hamster wheel, you can see that it’s going nowhere. So much energy is wasted.

 

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.

Yes, I’m late to the Tolle party. No, I can’t sit on a park bench for two years and watch the world go by, as the author once did. But there’s something here within these pages to grasp and better understand. I’m a life-long student. I’m here to learn until I die. I’m underlining lots of sentences in this book.

 

Jennifer Pastiloff.

This woman is just the bomb and the shit and the fuck. Visit her at her website.

 

Making a writing space for myself.

It’s cramped and it’s in the basement but it’s mine and my drums are there and I’m happy.

 

Bodywork and massage therapy.

I am tight and I am tired and I am sore. A few weeks ago, my amazing, kick-ass massage therapist held my head and whispered, “Little warrior, lay down your armor.” My jaw clenched, resisting the release. I heard myself whisper, “No.” I twisted away from the pain. Tears streamed out of my right eye. Ah, that’s your masculine side, she said. She was right — the tough-guy identity I adopted from childhood, constructed largely from fear, unintentional abuse and shame. Lay your body down, baby girl. Let go. It’s time.

 

Drinking cups of blackberry mojito green tea with my daughter, which she brews for me.

It’s really yummy. So is she, when she’s all fired up about politics and books and her life, which she shares with me for a few minutes while we sip from mugs.

 

Doing the work.

I’ve submitted four essays this week to various magazines and journals. A delightful way to avoid writing the screenplay in my head. But, still. Four fucking essays. If we all spent less time being jealous of or comparing ourselves to others — or even fearing our own potential — we’d find so much more time for ourselves, and just might create something that the world is waiting to receive. In that span of found time, we might only produce something as simple as a sentence. A drawing. A photograph. A thought. A feeling. Or it could possibly be the biggest, greatest, juiciest project/idea/installation/book/sculpture/dance/mathematical equation that Life has ever seen. All with that one hesitant step, taken after putting aside the fear of comparison and criticism and failure. Step. Go. Do it.

 

Seeing the irony, and saying nothing.

In both myself, and in others. Watching as people do the exact opposite of what they preach. Witnessing the quiet excellence in others, as they wave away praise. Noticing my difficulty in going cold turkey with anything. Acknowledging the gorgeous, exhausting dance of humanity.

 

Myself, again.

I didn’t come from an entirely happy place. But I’m making one now for myself, as best I can. I am worthy of this. Perhaps that ripples out towards the people I love and strangers I meet along the way. That’s my intention. Listen for me when I pass by. You are lovable, too. You are worthy. Believe that.

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Comments

  1. I love so much about you list!! AGREE on Jen Pastiloff. She’s amazing. And what your massage therapist whispered to you brought tears to my eyes. Wow. xox

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